Sawyer Sweeten committed suicide on April 23. For those of you unfamiliar with the name, Sweeten was most known for his role as Ray Romano’s twin son on the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond with his brother Sullivan.
While this death may have been nothing but a blurb to most, it struck a cord with me. I don’t know what problems Sweeten was dealing with before his death, but from my experiences as a moderately successful child actor, I can assure his early success did not help.
I’ll prove it to you. I am going to list some names and you tell me the first thought that pops to mind:
Macaulay Culkin.
Haley Joel Osment.
Lindsay Lohan.
You probably chuckled, scoffed, or thought “what a mess” to yourself.
This is the problem every single successful child star faces. Instead of the world viewing them as the troubled adolescents turned adults that they are, these people are seen as nothing but a punchline. Why? I think it’s caused by a lack of empathy; everyone thinks it’s just riches, bitches, and fame for the rest of that child star’s life. Everyone focuses on the rise, no one ever considers the fall.
The strains induced from a youth in showbiz are an absolute tragedy that nobody really understands, or really even cares about, yet is more relevant in our society than ever before. We live in a digital age where a 10 year old can achieve viral fame and fortune overnight without ever considering what happens after their 15 minutes in the spotlight.
Let me briefly establish my credibility. My brothers and I were at best considered D-list child stars at one point in time. We are identical triplets, so we landed a lot of commercials and a guest starring spot on the Season 8 finale of ER. Despite our success, it was the “almost” moments that are the most notable. My brothers and I almost got the roles for The Suite Life of Zach & Cody. When Disney was developing the show, we auditioned against the Sprouse twins, who obviously booked the show.
I was so jealous of the Sweeten’s and the Sprouse’s for longest time because I couldn’t escape the thought that that could have been me. I was one “yes” away from millions of dollars, fame, and all the Disney Channel groupies I could ever imagine. Even as alluring as that still sounds today, I am happy I didn’t get the part because I may have fallen victim to the same demons that Sweeten did.
Peaking too early in life.
Fame and fortune at fourteen, now what? When you strike gold that early in life you have two options: try to ride the momentum or fade out of the spotlight. Most fade out because it is an exhausting lifestyle and they are sitting on a mountain of money. But that doesn’t last, it never does.
So there you are, a couple years down the road with some money, no real friends, and no career. You can attempt to make a comeback, but trust me, any previous success you’ve had is insignificant. One year in the real world is a decade in Hollywood.
This is when the reality kicks in, and if you’ve spent most of your life in Hollywood, you have no idea what reality is. The problem with peaking too early in life is that you can’t help but think that you’ve already experienced the best years of your life and it’s all downhill from here. Is that all there is for me, an ancillary role in That’s So Raven?
Early success may even be tougher now than 10 years ago. If you aren’t the lead of a show (and even if you are the lead), you may not be “hot” enough to land gigs afterwards, but you are just notable enough for people to find you on Twitter and talk shit to you. How delightful.
The vicious cycle.
Childhood acting is like drinking too much coffee. When it’s in your system, you are bouncing off the walls feeling invincible, but the crash is inevitable. When you crash, you can either drink more coffee or reminisce about the times you had with it. But you always want more because there is no thrill like it.
It is hard to assimilate to a normal life when most of it has been spent living the dream. No one wants to go from starring in a television show to becoming an accountant. You really don’t have a choice but to continue chasing stardom because the alternative is rather dull. It’s also a reason many child actors get into drugs, it’s just another way of chasing that thrill they once had.
Falling back into the cycle is most likely a way of escaping the “was it worth it?” thoughts. When you are acting as a child, you give up most of your time to go to auditions, film, and travel. You are missing out on regular childhood activities like sleepovers, sports, or just being at school around others your age. There is no replacement for that. So the thought that comes to mind is this: was it worth giving up my entire youth for a couple dollars? Was it worth it?
It never seems like it because you are trying to put a monetary value on an invaluable experience. Life is like a skyscraper, you can’t build upward unless you have a solid foundation to start. Childhood is that foundation. There is no replacement for the blissful ignorance of adolescence. It is the only time in your life where you are allowed to make mistakes with marginal consequences and no responsibilities to worry about. If a child spends his youth in show-business, it is the equivalent of building that life skyscraper on top of a fault. It could all come crumbling down in the blink of an eye.
The dirty truth.
The dirty truth about childhood acting is that Hollywood makes you believe that you are a star and that they can’t possibly do anything without your amazing talents in their presence. Here’s the secret, they really don’t give a fuck about you and they really have no reason to. Unless you are an immensely talented child (most aren’t) being a child actor takes one of three things: A connection in the business, being irresistibly adorable, or being a twin, triplet, Kate plus Eight, etc. That’s it.
It isn’t hard to act as a child because no one expects a Daniel Day-Lewis performance from a tot who just left day care. Plus there are plenty of options to choose from because there is a plethora of past-their-prime parents projecting their own insecurities and missed opportunities onto their kids.
So Hollywood doesn’t see you as a child, they see you as an item; an item that can dropped for another “hotter” item at the snap of a finger. As a child, you don’t get kicked to the curb for some crazy Mel Gibson-esque rant you left on a voicemail, that would never happen. In fact, your actions typically have nothing to do with it. When you are fired as a child, it’s because you weren’t cute enough, you put on a couple pounds, or because the girl from the Welch’s commercial just went viral.
Being exposed to that kind of volatility has a huge impact on the psyche of a child, especially if they are in the middle of the hormone hurricane that is puberty. It’s a horrendous pill to swallow when the business that you have been so loyal to your entire life, the world that you have sacrificed your entire youth for, tells you that you are expendable. It makes you start to believe that maybe you, as human being, are expendable too.
I wasn’t even remotely close to being as famous or as rich as the Sweeten’s or the Sprouse’s and yet I’ve had all of these thoughts cross through my mind for a decade. If you amplify the magnitude of their success with these thoughts constantly weighing on their conscience, it’s a miracle they’ve made it this far.
I have been fortunate enough to find humor from my childhood in front of the camera, but for others like Sweeten, the problems gained from an adolescent life in the limelight are no joke. Rest in peace, Sawyer Sweeten. 
